Thursday, August 19, 2010

I hate karma

So 2 days ago I applied for about 10 different jobs. Eight of them were teaching jobs in Weber district and 2 of them were teacher's aide jobs at Sam & Nash's school. My rational was that I could list it on my unemployment paperwork because I seriously doubted that Weber school district really still needed 8 teachers with school starting just next week. I've been freaking out about the unemployment because my mother in law is going through it right now and she's had a hard time getting enough contacts for workforce services to be happy with. Hence my applications.

When I first found out that my contract wasn't being renewed I was happy to get out of the school. My principal and I just weren't a good fit together it seemed. As the days went by, I was angry and bitter about being let go...again. I felt like I'd wasted the last 10 years of my life! I finally came to the decision that I was done teaching and was going to do something else with my life. I hadn't moved any of my school stuff that sat in the middle of the garage because I didn't know what to do with it. Yesterday, YESTERDAY, I finally cleaned out the garage and moved all my stuff to the back of the garage and sat it at the top of the stairs (getting it ready to haul down and store). I had unpacked my classroom library about as soon as I got all my stuff home. The kids have gone through it fairly regularly. Not quite as much as I had thought, but still, enough to make me happy.

I have always told Samantha to NEVER, NEVER answer the house phone. It's ALWAYS telemarketers and never anyone I want to talk to. I put my cell number on everything and anyone that knows me knows if they want to talk to me to call my cell.

My brother in law came over this morning and worked on the boys' bedroom (more mud) since he got rained out at work. He had just finished and we were outside talking when Samantha comes outside with the house phone in her hand and announces, "Here mom. It's for you." Before I could say anything she said, "It ISN'T someone selling something. I asked." Great. I gave her my dirtiest mother look and took the phone.

Much, MUCH, to my surprise, it was a principal at one of the schools I had applied for a job at. One from Weber District. One from the district that I got an automated email with my application telling me I must have a letter of recommendation from my previous principal included with all my paperwork before my application would be further considered. I didn't have a letter of recommendation from my previous principal. I asked for one this past spring but never got one. So, with the automated email I sent an email of my own to my previous principal and bluntly asked for one so I could apply for other teaching jobs. A letter of recommendation I have yet to receive and send to Weber District.

So, here I sit in irritated contemplation. Wondering...Why? Why? Why did I apply for that particular job? It's for a 5th/6th split in south Ogden and I had finally accepted & was looking forward to the fact that I was going to be home with my not so little baby this year. I had finally accepted that it was going to be just me and Duleb and I was going to finally have time to do all my projects that are half started. I had finally accepted that Nash was in Kindergarten and Samantha was in 2nd grade and for once, for ONCE, I was going to be able to be a mom that went and helped in my child's class.

Tomorrow I will leave my house at 8:30 am and drive to Syracuse to drop my children off at my sister in law's house. I will then turn around and drive another 30 minutes to south Ogden to find this new school. I will then sit through a 15 minute interview and wonder whether or not I should sabotage this interview because I really don't want to go back to work. I will then drive the 30 minutes back to my sister in law's house and wonder if I did subconsciously sabotage that interview and whether or not I really should have done that. I will worry again about unemployment and that we might not get enough money for all our payments. And if, IF, I am offered this 5th/6th split position, I will call my husband and rationalize why I should and shouldn't take the job. Of course, there is this irritating reminder in the back of my mind that if I teach for just 1 more year, just 1 more, then I will finally, FINALLY, have my level 2 license and won't have to renew my license for 5 years rather than renew my level 1 for a second time.

Did I mention that I hate karma?