Thursday, December 8, 2011


So yesterday after school Samantha got in the Expedition and turned to me and said, "Mom.  Today at school, at recess, there were three girls picking on this boy."
Me: "What did they do?"
Sam: "They were teasing him about his dad being in jail.  They kept asking him if his dad was in jail and his dad isn't in jail.  But they wouldn't leave him alone and he felt really bad and was sad."
Me: "What did you do?"
Sam: "Well, me and Sammie (her friend) were there and they saw us and they walked over to us and said, 'What are you going to do?  Are you going to go tell on us now?'"
Me: "So, what did you do?"
Sam: "We were like 'uhhhh' because we were scared and didn't know what to do.  He was really sad all day.  Sammie & I kept bugging him until he told us what happened.  I felt bad because he was really sad.  So, I colored him a picture and was nice to him."
Me: "That was nice of you.  You didn't tell your teacher though?"
Sam: "No."
Me: "Sam, that's bullying and it's not ok.  You should have told your teacher right after it happened."

I get why she didn't tell her teacher.  She felt threatened and intimidated.  I'm glad she told me.  I told her that if she was to do anything different she should tell a teacher right away.  I told her I was going to email her teacher and let her know what happened because it wasn't ok that the girls were doing that and it needed to be taken care of.  So, last night I emailed her teacher and told her about what happened.

This morning when I dropped the kids off at school I told her to ask her teacher if she got my email.  After school when Sam got in the Expedition I asked her if she had asked her teacher if she had gotten my email.  She said she had and that her teacher had gotten it.  I asked her if her teacher said anything else.  She told me that her teacher had passed the information along to the 3rd grade teacher who's class the other girls were in.  Sam left it at that so I left it alone.

After dance, Sam got in the Expedition and turned to me again.
Sam: "Mom.  At first recess today this girl came up to me and said, 'I got sent to the principal's office today because you went home and told your mom."
Now what, as a mother, am I suppose to say?  I'm mad.  Really, really mad.
Me: "Which girl said this to you?"
Sam: "It was O*****."
Me: "But you didn't say anything to me about her yesterday and I certainly didn't say anything to your teacher about her.  Why is she saying she got sent to the principal's office because of you?"
Sam: "Because she was part of it."
Now I'm even more mad.  1-The adults at the school SHOULD NOT have told the perpetrators who it was that turned them in.  2-Even if the adults did mention who turned them in, the students SHOULD NOT have been allowed to discuss it, let alone confront the person.  We all know that as soon as you tell a kid "Don't discuss this." the first thing they're going to do is go out & discuss it!
Sam: "Now I don't want to go to school tomorrow because O***** made me feel bad.  I feel like the whole school hates me now because I told about what happened."
Me: "Sam, you did the right thing and it takes a lot of courage to do the right thing.  Doing the right thing isn't always the easy choice.  I'm proud of you.  I'm angry that that girl thinks she has the right to make you feel bad for doing the right thing.  If she was being a bully she deserved to be sent to the principal's office."
Sam: "I know, but I just feel like everybody hates me now."

So, I ask myself: "Am I being an overprotective, over bearing mother?  Or, am I doing the right thing?"  I fully intend to go into the principal's office tomorrow morning and raise some hell.  Bullying - whether it's my kid or someone else's is NEVER ok.  I'm certainly not going to stand by and let it go with the shrug of my hat.  I'm mad, rightfully so in my opinion.  I was bullied myself in high school so I know how it feels to be on that end.  I refuse to let some little 8 yr old girls think it's ok to start doing it to their classmates.

1 comment:

Tannie Datwyler said...

WOW! That's crazy... poor Sam. I'd be mad too that Sam was approached and ridiculed for telling. I'm wondering if the girls just figured it out since Sam had seen it happening. I can't imagine the principal would tell who had alerted him to the situation.... I hope not at least. If a teacher or administrator did, then YEAH, you have every right to be mad. And I think it's great that you are so concerned about bullying.

Have you read 19 Minutes by Jodi Piccoult? It's about a boy who shot and killed many of his fellow students in a high school (in 19 minutes). He did it as a result of YEARS of bullying. It was a real eye opener (it's not a true story, but sure felt like it). It has made me more aware just how dreadful bullying is.