Thursday, August 11, 2011


There are sooo many thoughts in my brain today. I'd like to write what is bothering me, but I think it's going to take me a bit to figure out how to word it correctly. So frustrating.

For five years I've been tolerating the behavior of a person in my family. It's always about the drama with this person. They insist on being the center of attention whether it's good attention or bad. The behavior of this 20 something yr old reminds me of a 15 yr old spoiled rotten brat (and that's really not too far off of how others have described it as well). I've tolerated this person and the behavior for so long because of the significant other and children involved. Everyone in the family keeps hoping the significant other will finally get out of the situation, but it hasn't happened yet and I seriously doubt it will any time soon. The thing that bothers me the most is how the children are being put right smack dab in the middle. I know everyone else in the family tolerates the behavior because of the kids too, but the other day, things went too far.

It's amazing to me how facebook has become such an integral part of so many people's lives. Some people use it the way it was intended - keeping in touch with others and making new friends. Others, like the person I'm talking about, use facebook in smear campaigns and to look for sympathy.

Here's what happened the other day:
1-There was an argument between the person & the significant other on Monday night.
2-On Tuesday morning there was a smear campaign on facebook. The smear campaign didn't just target the significant other (who isn't even on facebook at all), but rather, the entire family.
3-My husband tells the person (by commenting on one of the facebook posts) that s/he is no longer welcome in our home because s/he has taken things too far this time.
4-I ask the person (by commenting on one of the facebook posts) what my family has ever done to him/her.
5-My sister in law posts a comment on facebook.
6-Person deletes smear campaign from facebook.
7-I get a voicemail (I intentionally don't answer the phone call) that is partially for sympathy.
8-I vent a few times through the day to my siblings (both of who saw all comments of the smear campaign on facebook).
9-My brother writes a status update that does not in any way, shape, form, or color identify the person but if you know the situation, you know the status is a result of the person's actions.
10-I get a phone call this morning from the person (who I still don't want to talk to) so I hit ignore. This happens 2 more times before I just turn my phone completely off.
11-After 10 min. I turn my phone back on and receive a very explicit voicemail that calls me names, threatens me and makes false allegations. I save the voicemail for later reference.

This brings me to now. Here is my dilemma. Which of the following do I do?
1-Let it go because the person isn't worth the time of day.
2-Call the cops to report harassment, threatening me with violence and oh, did I mention, the person has a warrant out for their arrest.
3-Wait until the person calls, texts, emails or whatever me again & then go to the cop with 2 saved instances of harassment, threats, etc..

I know that no matter what choice I make, it's an unfortunate outcome for all. This person is going to be in the family forever because of the kids. I don't want to put the significant other in a bad position, but, since Travis has said the person isn't allowed in our home any more, it kind of already puts the significant other in a hard position. I've said for many years that if I was a good person, I'd call DCFS because this person is a terrible parent. There has been domestic violence in front of the children, there's child neglect, there's emotional abuse, there are drugs done in the house...the list goes on. I want to do the "right" thing, I'm just not sure what it is. I also want to be done with all the drama that's been happening for the last five years. I'd like to see the significant other leave the person because I think it would be the best outcome, but I'm not holding my breath on that one.

All suggestions are welcome at this point!

1 comment:

Nic said...

Report it now. Don't let physical threats go unreported. Then record every interaction going forward in any way you can.